Message from Dr. B. (Linda Paulk Buchanan): As many of you know, I am writing my second book, which is about how the stories you tell yourself may be ruining your life. So, when I first read this quote I thought it was absolutely true. And often times it is. We tell ourselves things like we are not smart enough for that job, not pretty enough to be loved, not strong enough to be a good athlete. And of course those kinds of thoughts can hold us back from getting the things we want. In fact they often turn into self-fulfilling prophecies.
However when I was a teenager and young adult, there was something I wanted very badly that I couldn’t have. In those days, it was very common for people to sit around playing the guitar and singing folk songs. I wanted so badly to have a good singing voice. I loved to sing and sang all the time! I was in a 70-member youth choir group that took extravagant choir tours every summer. I became president of that choir because I was likable and I could organize events very well. But that never got my attention as much as wishing I could sing and have solos. Focusing on what I didn’t have, instead of all of the things that I did have, actually brought me a lot of unnecessary pain during those years. So, not only do we need to be aware of our false beliefs, we need to be aware of hard truths about ourselves (I just wasn’t a good singer) and practice radical acceptance about our weaknesses. Only then can you fully enjoy and appreciate your strengths.
However when I was a teenager and young adult, there was something I wanted very badly that I couldn’t have. In those days, it was very common for people to sit around playing the guitar and singing folk songs. I wanted so badly to have a good singing voice. I loved to sing and sang all the time! I was in a 70-member youth choir group that took extravagant choir tours every summer. I became president of that choir because I was likable and I could organize events very well. But that never got my attention as much as wishing I could sing and have solos. Focusing on what I didn’t have, instead of all of the things that I did have, actually brought me a lot of unnecessary pain during those years. So, not only do we need to be aware of our false beliefs, we need to be aware of hard truths about ourselves (I just wasn’t a good singer) and practice radical acceptance about our weaknesses. Only then can you fully enjoy and appreciate your strengths.
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